Flip Flap
Today for the first time I was justified in one of my obsessive tendencies. Actually, I’m not saying I’m right to do it, just that now I’m glad I do it.
I’m not alone in this freakish habit. Everybody does it….well not everybody…but enough that most of you will know what I’m talking about.
You know when you put a letter in the big blue mail box. You pull done the flap, slide the letter in and let the flap flip back. Then you do it . You don’t know why, but you do it.
See where I'm going with this....
YOU PULL THE FLAP BACK OPEN!
You know the letter went down. You heard it. I always hear it. I know it didn’t get caught on any edges or cliffs or branches. I know that tiny people that live in the box didn’t grab it and toss it back up so my letter doesn’t get picked up.
But I look anyway.
I can’t help it. You can’t help it. It’s part of the mystery of human behavior that I think is right up there with always laughing at a fart. Only the Aliens that created us (Intelligent Design, right?) know for sure.
Anyway, today I was justified. I went to mail a check (part of my job as an accountant, it’s a thing we do), and when I opened the mail box there was a letter on the flap. It was stuck to the inside of the fucking flap. Now, it took me a while to walk up to the box so I know there had been nobody there for at least 45 seconds. That’s a long time. If you don’t believe me, count it out. I’ll wait.
See, long time.
It was as if I had found the Holy Grail…resting on the Lost Ark…which was the pot of a poker game being played by Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earhart, a Unicorn and Bigfoot (By the way, Bigfoot won with two pair, queens high. Hoffa just tossed his cards down and left in a huff…that’s so him).
I looked around for some one to share this shocking revelation with. Nobody. Of course not. Whenever you make the find of the century there’s never anybody there to witness it so you can corroborate your story. Oh well.
I flipped the flap. The letter slid down. I checked. Then I put my letter in and I flipped that flap like there was no tomorrow. Ten felt like a safe amount of flips. And like that (poof) it was gone.
I’m not alone in this freakish habit. Everybody does it….well not everybody…but enough that most of you will know what I’m talking about.
You know when you put a letter in the big blue mail box. You pull done the flap, slide the letter in and let the flap flip back. Then you do it . You don’t know why, but you do it.
See where I'm going with this....
YOU PULL THE FLAP BACK OPEN!
You know the letter went down. You heard it. I always hear it. I know it didn’t get caught on any edges or cliffs or branches. I know that tiny people that live in the box didn’t grab it and toss it back up so my letter doesn’t get picked up.
But I look anyway.
I can’t help it. You can’t help it. It’s part of the mystery of human behavior that I think is right up there with always laughing at a fart. Only the Aliens that created us (Intelligent Design, right?) know for sure.
Anyway, today I was justified. I went to mail a check (part of my job as an accountant, it’s a thing we do), and when I opened the mail box there was a letter on the flap. It was stuck to the inside of the fucking flap. Now, it took me a while to walk up to the box so I know there had been nobody there for at least 45 seconds. That’s a long time. If you don’t believe me, count it out. I’ll wait.
See, long time.
It was as if I had found the Holy Grail…resting on the Lost Ark…which was the pot of a poker game being played by Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earhart, a Unicorn and Bigfoot (By the way, Bigfoot won with two pair, queens high. Hoffa just tossed his cards down and left in a huff…that’s so him).
I looked around for some one to share this shocking revelation with. Nobody. Of course not. Whenever you make the find of the century there’s never anybody there to witness it so you can corroborate your story. Oh well.
I flipped the flap. The letter slid down. I checked. Then I put my letter in and I flipped that flap like there was no tomorrow. Ten felt like a safe amount of flips. And like that (poof) it was gone.
posted by Warren at 9:22 PM
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